| Phase | What to do | Condition | Planning use |
|---|---|---|---|
| Preparation | Decide what you will share and why | The disclosure should be authentic and serve the team | Draft two or three sentences before the conversation so the message stays focused |
| Timing and setting | Pick the right time and place | Timing and setting determine whether openness helps | Choose a team meeting, retrospective or one-to-one rather than a rushed hallway moment |
| Sharing a mistake | Own the error and take responsibility | Pair the admission with what you will do next | Use when an error has affected colleagues or a project |
| Asking for help | Name what you need from a specific person | The request should be genuine, not staged | Use when a colleague holds knowledge or skill you lack |
| Follow-through | Act on what you said and keep showing up consistently | Trust depends on authenticity over time | Revisit the topic in later meetings so openness becomes normal |
The phases above draw on Jo Howard’s account of leadership vulnerability and on a summary of Brené Brown’s definition of vulnerability.
Vulnerability in leadership means taking an emotional risk in front of the team, such as owning a mistake or asking for help, while choosing the right time and place to do it.
This guide fits within the wider topic of how leadership affects workplace culture. It works well alongside humble leadership examples, which show the same openness in everyday management.
What vulnerability in leadership means
Vulnerability in leadership is the willingness to be seen honestly by the people you lead, including when you are uncertain or have got something wrong. It is not a performance of weakness. As Jo Howard writes, vulnerability is a sign of courage rather than weakness.
That framing matters because many leaders resist it. The same article observes that leaders are often afraid to show vulnerability and assume it signals weakness. The practical consequence is that the leaders who most need to model openness are often the ones least inclined to do so.
The idea has limits that this guide treats as central. Openness is useful when it is authentic, relevant to the team’s work and well timed. The sections below follow the order in which a leader moves from deciding what to share to making openness a habit.
Brené Brown’s definition and Dare to Lead
Brené Brown defines vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure and uncertainty, and she is explicit that it is not weakness. She is a research professor at the University of Houston and has spent two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy.
For a manager, the definition has a useful implication. A leader is vulnerable when something real is at stake in what they say, for example admitting a misjudgement or a gap in knowledge. Sharing something with no risk attached, or reciting a polished story that costs nothing, does not fit the definition.
Brown’s work also links vulnerability to positive outcomes. The same source describes it as essential for wholehearted living. Dare to Lead is the book in which she applies her research on courage and vulnerability to leadership, so it is the natural next read for managers who want her full framework rather than a summary.
Preparation: deciding how much to share
A leader should share what helps the team understand, trust or learn, and keep back what mainly relieves the leader’s own stress. This is a judgement call rather than a measured threshold, and the evidence supports one clear condition: timing and setting decide whether openness lands well.
- Name the purpose. Ask what the team gains from hearing this. If the answer is a decision, a lesson or a clearer picture of the situation, the disclosure has a job to do.
- Check authenticity. Trust is critical, and the company suffers without it. A disclosure that feels scripted or strategic can undermine the trust it was meant to build.
- Keep it proportionate. Matching the size of the disclosure to the size of the issue helps. A work error calls for a work-focused explanation, not a full account of your private worries.
- Prepare what comes next. Vulnerability without a next step leaves the team carrying your uncertainty. Know what you will do about the issue before you raise it.
Timing and setting
The right moment is part of the message. Howard puts it plainly: the key is determining the right time and place to show vulnerability. The same admission can build confidence in a calm retrospective and cause alarm in a crisis meeting.
When to share
Share early enough that the team can act on the information, and calmly enough that you can answer questions. If you are still emotionally raw about an event, wait until you can explain it in a steady voice. Delay is sensible for feelings, but not for facts the team needs in order to do its work.
Where to share
Match the setting to the audience. Something that affects the whole team belongs in a team forum where everyone hears the same account. A concern about one person’s contribution, or a request for one colleague’s help, suits a private conversation. Choosing a group setting for a sensitive personal matter often puts pressure on listeners who did not ask to carry it.
Sharing mistakes with your team
Leaders keep credibility when they own the error, take responsibility and show what they will do differently. Howard advises being understanding of mistakes and errors in judgement and taking responsibility for your actions. Credibility rests on the ownership, not on the absence of mistakes.
- State what happened plainly. Describe the decision and its effect without softening language that shifts blame to circumstances or colleagues.
- Take responsibility in the first person. A sentence such as “I made the wrong call” signals ownership more clearly than a passive description of what went wrong.
- Explain the lesson. Tie the admission to a specific change in how you will work, so the team sees learning rather than only regret.
- Invite input. Ask whether colleagues saw the problem coming or see a better path. This turns a confession into shared problem solving.
Avoid two failure modes. Over-apologising shifts attention to the leader’s feelings and asks the team to reassure them. Downplaying the mistake sounds evasive and invites doubt. A measured account, delivered once and acted on, usually serves a team better than either.
Asking for help
Asking for help is one of the most practical forms of vulnerability, because it admits a limit and trusts someone else to fill it. Howard lists it alongside owning mistakes as a behaviour that shows leaders as human.
Make the request specific. Name the person, the task and what a useful contribution would look like. A vague appeal for support puts the burden of interpretation on the colleague, while a clear one respects their expertise. Ask in a private conversation when the request touches one person’s workload or reputation.
Be ready to act on the answer. If a leader asks for help and then ignores the advice, the request reads as a gesture. When the help is used, say so, and credit the colleague who gave it.
Follow-through and building trust
One honest conversation does not build a culture of openness. Trust grows when a leader’s behaviour is consistent over time, and Howard ties it to authenticity: trust is critical, and without it the company will suffer.
- Repeat the behaviour. Return to the issue in later meetings and report what changed. Teams notice whether a leader’s words are followed by action.
- Make space for others. A regular check-in lets colleagues speak about their own challenges at their own pace. A leader who has modelled openness can then listen without needing to match every disclosure.
- Respond well to candour. When a team member admits a mistake, thank them and focus on the fix. How a leader reacts decides whether anyone repeats the risk.
- Link it to self-awareness. Openness works best alongside honest reflection on your own patterns, as explored in leadership blind spots examples.
Troubleshooting common problems
The team reacts with silence
Silence after a disclosure often means colleagues are unsure whether a response is expected. Ask a simple, concrete question, such as what they would change, and allow time for answers. Do not fill the gap by explaining more of your own feelings.
Sharing feels forced
If a disclosure feels like a technique, hold it back. Authenticity is the condition on which trust depends, so a smaller, genuine admission is better than a larger, rehearsed one. Start with ordinary matters, such as saying you do not know something yet.
Disclosure has drifted into venting
When sharing becomes a way to offload stress onto direct reports, move that conversation to a peer, mentor or coach. Return to the test of whether the team gains something from hearing it.
A mistake has already damaged trust
Own it directly and promptly, then follow the account with visible changes. Credibility recovers through repeated, consistent action, not through a single apology.
Frequently asked questions
Why do many leaders hesitate to show vulnerability?
Leaders often fear it will be read as weakness. Jo Howard argues the opposite, describing it as a sign of courage.
Does vulnerability connect to innovation?
Brené Brown is quoted describing vulnerability as the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change. For a team, that means people are more likely to propose untested ideas when they see the leader take a similar risk.
What is Dare to Lead?
Dare to Lead is a book by Brené Brown, one of her five number-one New York Times bestsellers. It applies her research on courage and vulnerability to the work of leading others.
